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Showing posts from 2017

Her dressing, not your one of your problems

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We all know the saying, "Dress the way you want to be addressed" which we interpret simply as your dressing speaks a lot about you and your personality. 
What if I told you that it is not totally true although many people have taken to be such? This is why we often hear statements like: “You dressed like you wanted sex, so how was I to know that you didn’t?", “She was dressed like a slut though”, I called the cops because he was dressed like a gangster and so on.  
 People’s personality and character or what they stand for should not be defined by what they have on or how they are dressed.
Take for instance, in a scenario where a girl has been raped and is trying to get justice for being raped, the first question they ask this rape victim who might be traumatized over what happened is going to be, “How were you dressed?”   If she happens to be dressed in a sexy way on the day the incident happened, she is automatically going to be blamed for being raped. The pervert who r…

The Reality

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What if I told you that we all live in a fictitious world? Okay, allow me to rephrase that, what if I told you that we are all living a fictitious life?
Now, you might be wondering what I am talking about, or probably also wondering what I meant by that. 
What I meant is very simple. We are all living in a world where almost everything is fake and all manipulated. We are living a fake life. We have been doing so for a long time that we have actually forgotten who we used to be. We have no clue anymore who we really are. We don’t know what is real anymore.
We live in a society where we no more have the freedom to be ourselves. We hide our true selves just because the society has created and fabricated this particular way of living, and we accept it to be true without questioning it. So now we have become scared of breaking barriers, stereotypes and whatnot. We become scared of being “us”. We deny ourselves just to please the “society”.
We have unintentionally created a system, a world, a …

Thinking out aloud

So, I haven't been writing like I used to; maybe it's writer's block, stress, no time, trying to figure out my purpose for writing, or all of them together. 
I don't know if I am back yet, or going to stop again, but the most important thing is that today, I just feel good, I feel like writing and I feel motivated to type on my keyboard again. 
I have things on my mind, a lot actually. I have a lot of questions on my mind too. 
I am a young girl, who has crazy thoughts, dreams and hope. That is all I know about myself. Everything else are based on what I was told. Some say that I have a voice, then I saw myself as a medium to voice things out. Some tell me that I am someone who asks questions, then I introduce myself as someone who asks questions and very curious. Some say that I am a feminist when I talk, then I identified as a feminist. Feminist!Feminist? I have been questioned about that word a lot, I have been told a lot of things about that word, I have been dismisse…

When Humans Becomes LAW!!!

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We have the judicial system and laws in our country to help regulate society, guide people, and prevent people from harming and hurting others. This doesn’t mean that people don’t go against these systems and laws - they do - but it also helps to determine the consequences that seem fit for their crimes. This helps a lot in maintaining order and reducing chaos in the society.

The officers of the law (police officers) play a major role in maintaining order, and they are the ones who are in charge of handling those who deviate from the law. The people or the mass public do not need to take laws into their own hands by handling the offenders or deciding to do the job of the police officers. Doing that is known as ‘jungle justice’ where I come from.

Jungle justice in Nigeria can be seen as the capital punishment meted out by group of individuals without any kind of legal power or authority on a criminal ‘suspect’. The rate of jungle justice in Nigeria has become very alarming and it is g…

Finding the Real You

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Most at times we spend our precious, little time living other people's life for them or, we try to our lives the way others do. We do this forgetting that everyone is different and unique in their own ways. Okay, do not get me wrong; it is good to admire people's life and so on and even make them life mentors or role models. It's all good and fine. The issue here is that we wake up each day and just want to know what our neighbor is up to and kind of monitor their lives, get jealous and all worked up if need be about someone's life. Thereby forgetting that we haven't even checked our own life. We haven't made plans about our own lives rather we decide to be so engulfed with people's businesses while our life just moves fast away from us just like the second hand of a clock. There is no time for us anymore to evaluate our lives.  Decisions we make are based on the decisions of our friends or peers. We form our own opinions and interests based on that of oth…

What if.......?

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What if everything we wanted just happens the way we want it to be? What if there was nothing like violence just peace? What if we didn't have the word, "Oppressor and victim"? What if we were all equal and received equal treatment? What if we didn't lose our loved ones? What if black people didn't have to riot for their rights? What if there was nothing like slavery? What if Africans are not painted as just poor, and undeveloped group of humans? What if women were not just seen as mothers but as humans? What if men were not seen as "money manufacturers? What if we taught men not to rape women? What if we see rape as a crime and not as the victim's crime? What if we treat everyone as we would treat ourselves? What if we understand that people with mental illness didn't wish that for themselves? What if we try to help those that are suicidal instead of looking for ways to judge them for trying to take their lives? What if we told the girl/boy next door that it is ok…

Lost in the middle of Nowhere

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Sometimes, there are things and situations that we find ourselves in that we wish are not real. We tend to live in denial of it because that's the only way we believe to escape those situations. There are situations like that, situations like depression and anxiety. We just don't want to live with it because of the category it falls into. It is categorized as a mental illness. So no one wants to be identified with that, maybe because of the discrimination and stigma that are attached with it. We chose to act like it doesn't exist. We act like there is no such thing in the world especially in the black community. I have heard people saying, it's a white people's disease, or it is a rich people's disease when they feel like taking a break. No, it's not, it is not white people's diseases nor is it rich people's disease. It is not really a disease like chicken pox, HIV/AIDS, Celiac disease and so on. It is different, has to do with emotions and one'…

Displaced Trust

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It is so sad to see the government we elected and hoped for them to protect and provide for us turn against us. The same people who voted for and carried their banners around that will create a better world and bring us change are the same people that are rendering our fellow citizens homeless. The same government we entrusted all our hope and trust in ended up betraying us.  They are making us hopeless, homeless and jobless.   Nigeria is a county in the west of Africa, a land flowing with milk and honey. A land where we are so blessed and do not witness any kind of natural disaster. In the words of my very good friend, Chimee Adioha: “but it is also painful that the only disaster we acquire is from our fellow human beings, the terror melted upon us by humans like us.” Badia-East is one of the swamp areas in Lagos and was recently demolished by the Lagos state government. The only crime that they committed was poverty and their punishment was destroying the only shelter they had, des…

Silenced Victims

I woke up today and decided not to touch anything that will take me to the internet. In other words, I made up my mind to stay off my Facebook, Instagram, Twitter and my snap-chat and even my Whatsapp too. I have done it before for two weeks and so I decided to do it again; it's not going to hurt. That didn't work because I had to reply my friend's snap. We talked and chatted away our time. I had to cancel the whole plan and logged in to my Instagram and Facebook. I was tired of the whole thing again. I kept saying I want to write but I just really don't want to do any writing today. I want to watch television, if possible I want to watch the news. I logged in again into my Facebook again. I read a story on my time line. I was mad and furious. This was a real life story and not a fiction.  This annoyed me more, the fact that the nonsense that I just read was real.

She was going to the market and got involved in a situation where a man touched her mother's breast on…

A look into my crazy generation

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I am going to the movies. Oh! what a nice feelings. It has been a long time since I went to the movies last; okay, fine it hasn't been that long but I just wanted to go though. So I get dressed up and I try to do one thing that I find so difficult and my face does not like. It is make-up, I love make-up so much but my face does not approve of it. What an irony right?  I also find it difficult because in as much as I watch many make-up you tube tutorials, I still do not know how they produce such an art on their face. So I just do the basic one that I think that it's quite easy and not too complicated. Now I was done with my make-up knowing fully well that my face is going to produce multiple acne the following days, but I did it anyway.

I was ready, now waiting for my ride to arrive. I decided to open my snap chat to view my friends snaps. I decided to do a few snaps with the popular snap-chat filter myself. I did take some and I eventually posted them. As I was taking a vide…

My Worst Nightmare

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As a little child growing up,I have always noticed that people tend to be so scared of death more than anything else. I was curious and baffled why they cherished life so much when they do not even know how long it is going to last. I was amazed how far they can go just to preserve life. To me we are all going to die, so it just does not matter. I didn't understand the damages death could do; I was so ignorant of the powers death wielded. I can remember hearing the death of one of my aunt's and just ignoring it like I just heard nothing while my whole family were very sad at that moment. For a while I taught they were over-reacting. I can remember saying: "She's not going to wake up though even if we cried day after day" and the reaction that I got after that statement.

Years later, I asked about my aunt, it's been a while I saw her last I said. The reply I got was, the one that passed away years ago you mean? It dawned on me that I would never see her again…

My fears for my Forgotten Friend

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I was going through my news feed and I just found out that the Igbos (a major ethnic group that base in the south east of Nigeria) living in the northern side of Nigeria where the Hausas( another major ethnic group that base in the northern part of Nigeria)  have been given a mandate to live the northern side before the 1st of October. The northern senators are giving their full approval for this mandate. I don't really know what this means but I am just sure of one thing. I am sure  that it means that the Igbos living  in the north will have to leave their source of livelihood and means of survival and come back empty-handed to a land which belongs to them and become paupers. I also know that if they fail to come back they might loose their lives. They will be slaughtered mercilessly.

      Ruminating on these thoughts: how those that had set up their business in the north are going to feel, what will happen if they refuse to leave their fortunes and come back to the south…

Struggle for life

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I am always amazed by the way we (Humans) love and cherish our lives so much. One thing that is certain in life is that every living thing must die one day and some day.  Death is a compulsory thing in this life. We can't escape it nor can we avoid it, yet we are so determined to fight it off. We take extreme measures to make sure we live. The health care system seems to be enjoying it more although that does not make them safe but they make profit out of our fear for death.

        A type 1 Diabetic patient injects insulin everyday in to their body. The thought of shots alone leaves my shoulder dropping. I don't know how they get that shots everyday; thinking about getting shots everyday makes me anxious for nothing. So in order to avoid that I cannot just eat frosted flakes in the morning, noodles in the afternoon and rice in the evening like I wanted to. I have to add vegetables and proteins to balance it out in my body. That way I do not have too much glucose in …

To My Backbone

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Today is the 14th of May, 2017 which is marked as Mother's day. This means that I get to celebrate a special person today-My Mom. I could write numerous pages to express your tender love. I really appreciate you being my mom; I couldn't have asked for a better mom than you. If there is a next time mom, can I still be your daughter?

I really wanted to write a poem but I don't know how to write poems. I am really wishing I had taken my literature classes more seriously and paid more attention to my poems. 
You are like my backbone supporting my  lifeless body. Just like when the spinal cord gets damaged, the entire body gets paralyzed. When you are strong, it means that I will be strong.
When am falling down, you make sure that I am okay by taking the fall for me.
You are ready to become a servant in order to decorate me as a princess. You hide your sorrows and smile just to make sure that I am always smiling and happy.
You make sacrifices for me regardless of my selfishnes…

It's Contagious- Keep Smiling

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Most of us were taught and encouraged to smile even when we are breaking down or dying emotionally. We were told to smile all the time and cover up our true emotions. I am not here to tell you that now. I believe that one should be able to express their true emotions, which includes cry when something calls for it and laugh so well when it calls for. At the same time, knowing that our mood can change that of someone near us is really necessary. Smiling is an action we do that does not take much to accomplish but just a few muscles. It is not necessary to be stingy with it because we never know we might be touching souls. We should rather encourage people with our smile.
          The single act of smiling can heal souls and make people’s day. Listen to the story that made me believe that smiling can be contagious.
Sometime last two months, I just came out of my second class in the morning. I was quite not a good mood because my test scores were not just what I expected it to be.…

My problem with the Media

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The media which started in the nineteenth century with the invention of the telegraph seems like it is doing more bad than the good it was originally meant for. The media has played a role in affecting and influencing what people will believe in. The media plays a role in communicating information to the world; most people rely on the media to possess knowledge of things that they do not have any idea on. The media is one of those technologies which seem to be in war with human. The war of survival. The media has taken away our source of livelihood, children no more play around with their fellow children rather they play with some invincible friends (the media). Friends no more have time for each other because they have found a new selfish person as friends (the media). We literally cannot live without the media, that is how bad it has gotten. 

Do not get me wrong, I am not an anti-media or something close to it. I am engulfed in media, let me explain; I published this work you a…

A letter to Race

Dear Race,
How are you doing? I know you do not know who is talking to you because I am one of your new citizens. Before I start telling you why I am writing to you, let me first apologize because I did not place any gender formalities on your name. This was because I couldn't reach Gender on time to inquire about your gender. I did not know if I should address you as a Mr. or a Ms. so please I hope that you treat me with care and tamper justice with mercy.  I have heard and seen that you are the head of state and the decision-maker here in this country, in the United States of America and most countries around the world.  I would not say that I do not know who you are, I know about you but maybe I cared less about what you can do and the amount of power you wield. This is because I came from a place where race does not matter, no one cares about it. It practically does not exist. You might be wondering where I am from, I am from Nigeria in West Africa. Like I said earlier, race d…

Response Argument to "Lean In: What Would You Do If You Weren’t Afraid?” by Sheryl Sandberg

“If women all leave for office work, who will stay with the kids and show them, love?” One would think that this quote written above was something said in the previous century, but no, this is was what someone had asked in this current century, not just in this century, or in this generation but in this year 2017. This statement was also said by a law school undergraduate student. It is baffling that people still question the roles of women and what they should do. The question now is why gender roles are such a big issue in today’s society. It is maybe such a pity that some people still live with the stereotypical roles associated with gender.  This is just like what Sheryl Sandberg, the chief operating officer of Facebook says in her article; “Lean In: What Would You Do If You Weren’t Afraid?” She starts off by telling the story of her grandma, who was taken out from school during the depression because she was a girl but later went back and how she (Sheryl’s grandma) was a very har…