Showing posts from February, 2017

It's Fine! Keep Going


Have you ever seen a little baby about eleven months old who recently started walking and is still learning how to climb the stairs? If you haven't seen one yet; close your eyes and imagine a scene like that.

This is what it looks like. It's everything you can think about right? It's amazing, inspirational, funny, lovely.
     They do this even though they know their capabilities; they know that they can not climb it but they also know that they have to keep climbing. Most times, they are scared out of their wits but they know that for them to be able to climb it like others they ought to keep trying.
     We were all like this at one point in time, we never gave up as kids. We persevered in learning all that was required for us to learn as we grow up. What happened to that…

You are still allowed to dream


       I came across Amy Cuddy's Ted Talk- your body language represents who you are. I learnt a lot from it which helped me not just in my public speaking class but will keep helping me even till tomorrow. She made emphasis on how you address people and they listen to you. She talked about the power poses that help you gain confidence when addressing your audience but that is not what I am here to share with you today. Although I will advise that  you check the ted talk out or the transcript if you are not the visual type. What I am here to share with you guys is one of the statements that she made towards the closure of  her speech. she said this, "And so I want to say to you, don't fake it till you make it. Fake it till you become it. Do it…

Loving the right way

Oh yes! It's valentine day and I grew up knowing it was a day you show love. I have also been receiving valentine's messages from people and as well sending to people too. My timeline is full of love messages and valentine's wishes. It got me thinking what's up with this February 14th? I learnt it was about a man known as Valentine who gave up his life for his friend. So that is why they show love on this day. I do not know if you have another story about the origin of valentine's day. Whatever you have heard, they all sum up to showing love to people.
     The thing is people show love to people only on valentine's day and the other day they don't care about your feelings. Why start something you will not continue? Why do you pretend to be something that you are not? I wrote something on my snap-chat "if people treated everybody like they do on the valentine's day, the world will be a better place to live in" I received affirmations from…

Why I Stopped Complaining

Oh My! Sandra you smile a lot, she exclaimed.
The "she" was actually one of my biology professors.  I turned around to face and understand if she really meant my Sandra or that of someone else. I gazed steadily into the thin space wondering if only she knew that I never believed someone was going to recognize me again as someone who smiles, talk more of saying I do it a lot. I had my memories flash back before me. I saw that little girl who was always living in fear of other people, that little girl who taught her life was very meaningless, that little girl who taught that life was just so cruel had grown a little bit. Has she become so much stronger than she used to be? She no longer lives in fear of people. Where did she get the strength to be so brave again to smile. Just then I saw another picture flash before me and  I heard her voice now saying to me, "You have to be strong and smile no matter what. You have to be an example for people, your life will inspire peo…

Being Gay


Okay, I know most of you are here to read this post because of the title. Quite a few among you came to clear your doubt, some better still came to verify your doubts  (the I knew it she was gay doubt) and the rest of you probably are here to know my opinions on the topic and ready to attack me like a fierce lion.


Well, I don't have to be gay before speaking up for gays or to know the kind of discrimination they go through.  I really admire the boldness of those who come out  boldly to be who they are irrespective of the discrimination from the majority.  It's really sad to see the way they are treated and discussed like outcasts all because of their sexual preferences.

Listen to what transpired between these two friends
Tack! Tack!! Tack!!!
The noise became louder as it came closer. I didn't bother to turn my back, I felt it wasn't necessary it is probably some teacher's heels as I went into the bathroom.
Friend 1: did you see the guy with heels

Blue Funk- a life not to be joked about!



"Do you really know the meaning of depression?"
This was a question I left as a comment for one of my social media friend. He had posted several pictures of himself hanging out with friends and captioned it "Feeling depressed" and tagged some of his friends. People who commented before me were all commenting things like: Nice pics, cool, dope, and so on. He replied them with words like; thanks bro, I sight you. Now, nobody or probably some people noticed that this guy just said that he's feeling depressed. It got me wondering if he was really depressed or just making fun of the word, which was how my question originated.
I am not saying that he might be not be depressed but I am guessing he was just kidding with the word. I seriously hope he was just joking. There is a difference with just few minutes of getting mad at someone or something or being angry and being sad for a long time wi…



In life sometimes, we need to be  the ones to motivate ourselves because we know ourselves more than anybody else. An African proverb says, "It's only an injured person that knows where it hurts more than anybody else". Sometimes we fin d out all we need is to motivate ourselves, we are the solutions to our own problems. Sometimes we don't really need to search for motivational quotes, speech or books to be positive about life or learn about it either. Sometimes what our body and mind wants is for us to tell ourselves enough is enough to get through tough times and not waiting or searching for an interesting inspirational/motivational speech to get to work. We often at times forget that these motivational and inspirational speakers are humans too; they are liable to mistakes because they are not even perfect.

I heard these two different quotes from two different inspirational speakers on about a particular subjec…

The Trumping Spirit


The last election of the United States of America that happens to be a huge surprise and shock to people left a lesson for all. The election which caused chaos for some weeks because of the two candidates involved: A man who believes that he alone can change America and make it great again, even if it means changing the rules and depriving some people their benefits. Secondly, a woman who thinks believes that everybody deserves an opportunity and their opinion, and believes that America will be great when everybody comes together.
In as much as I wanted the lady Hillary Clinton to win the election; I wanted to be able to tell my little nieces that even as a woman they can achieve whatever they want to achieve, and that everyone are equal and should be treated so regardless of skin color, race, religion, and sexual preferences . I wanted to be able in the future when addressing young girls to tell them how a woman made America g…

NO! ( Expectations vs. Realities)

"No" is a very known word that means or signifies ones disagreement to something. It's so common that even a two-year old is well familiar with it. I can remember my baby cousin started saying it when she was just one; actually it was among the first five words she learnt how to say in her life. No is a word initially meant to illustrate a person's disagreement to something or an issue or give a negative response or answer to a decision. This is the normal thing expected when one says no to something. Now, things are not really the same. The reality of the word, "no" is different from the expectations of the society especially when it comes to gender cases.  The reality is different in the sense that "No" now means "yes" and "yes" means "yes"; this is more likely seen and interpreted for the females. We live in a society that now disregards a lady's no; a society that does not give a lady a chance to disagree to …


Labeling, a short word or a phrase used to describe certain group of people or persons has more of a huge effect on people than just the short word itself. We live in a world where most people are identified with a label or so; where they are considered deviant of the societal norm. People are deviant of the norms in many ways like in appearance, behaviors, and /or opinions of certain group of people. When they become deviant of the norms, they are then labeled by the society according to the social construction of the society. Once they are labeled, they are treated somehow and most times discriminated by the society. They are being discriminated not because they committed an offense, but because they chose to create their own identity by being different and unique. They chose to create …

Dangers of self condemnation

Feeling remorseful or bad after a bad occurrence is a very normal thing. It shows how humane one is, and  speaks good of you. It exhibits and shows how sorry one is for their deeds, but when done unnecessary always seems to be a sign of destruction. Self-blame is very dangerous thing to the health. It is more than just feeling remorseful for something that already happened. It is more like seeing yourself as a big/huge mess. It's like seeing yourself as a big failure. It is an emotional burden and punishment to oneself. It drowns one immediately before it is being recognized. It is known to be detriment to the health. Self-blame might sound as just a minor issue but anything that affects the health should be taken seriously and not neglected. I happened to be discussing with one of my friends and she told me how bad she thinks of herself. She said this, "I feel like am a failure most times whenever am alone; I feel like am the dumbest person out there". I could have laug…

Breaking Stereotypes or Being Different (2)

"The only time a woman made a woman a millionaire was making bringing him down from being a billionaire". "I want  girlfriend that when someone calls her she will introduce herself as my girl by calling my name first"The first one was a meme and the second was a post I happen to stumbled on my wall posted by friends. The funny thing is that people laughed about it, including the females. I happen to put  a comment on the first one' "this is doesn't make sense" and  I got a reply 'because you are one of them". I didn't bother replying back , because I noticed he was just one of the people who end up dwelling in ignorance; it does not make sense to correct him about it. I came across another one with the picture of a lady's finger putting on an engagement ring, and it read; This is what happens when you cook for your man and please him sexually. I didn't use the exact words used because of language usage. The post had many like …

Breaking Stereotypes or Being Different


When writing one of my papers that was all about growing up in a family, and how it affects and makes us who we are.  I wrote on the roles family members took that has been affecting us for a long period of time. I think my two favorite songs now Ain't your mama by Jennifer Lopez (2016) and Sit still, look pretty by Daya (2106) talks about what is going on now. Family is a very good and pretty thing; it feels awesome to have amazing people around you who are always there for you. The thing is, some stereotypes that have been embedded in this family which seems to be declining, is now climbing it's climax again. As a little girl growing up, my mum always wanted me to be good with domestic works more than my brothers. I wondered why she did that all the time. I eventually asked her why and she replied because one day you will be get married, and you have to do it for your husband. Curiously I asked her, won't the boys get married and do it for their wives too, she replied b…

Ignoring the Unknown of Known

Growing up, I can remember clearly trying to speak another language with my siblings when putting up some home plays. We do this by mimicking stuffs that does not make sense and interpret it in our own way. This always amuses me whenever I remember it. Language is something I have grown up to see and acknowledge as a very powerful tool, and respect so much. I really thought that I knew much about language until few days ago. I was with one of my friends who is from Africa but not Nigeria; I excused myself to go pick something up from another building in my school and come back quickly in order not be late to where we were originally going to. On returning, she was on the phone with a family member and she was speaking her native language and not the regular English we usually conversed with. Now, you might be wondering what was so special about the call or the language that I am narrating it here. The fascinating thing about the call was the words she spoke were the same ones my sibli…

Tips to know that you are in a Wrong Relationship



Being in a relationship can be a good and an awesome thing, but only if you are in a healthy one. it is a nice feeling to know that there is someone always there for you. There is someone to talk to when your day is good or bad, someone to hang out with, someone to have fun with and love. This feeling can turn sour if you are in the wrong relationship. Most people fall victim of wrong relationships, and end up being bitter/sour. Sometimes, it makes them decide not to have any relationships or have  anything to do with that gender.
 There are tips/signs to recognize when in a wrong relationship; these signs are so obvious that when neglected can cause heart ache.          Below are the signs to recognize: Lack of Communication- when your partner does not always communicate with you, you always have to hit him/her up in order to start a conversation. This is a red flag when in a relationship. people who really care for each other, and are in a relationship should make it a point of duty…

Being In a Relationship

Does one really need to be in a relationship? The answer to this question does not seem to be definite. Being in a relationship is a good thing. It feels so good to love and be loved in return. Relationships can be intimate or just casual. An intimate relationship is a relationship that involves romance while casual relationship does not involve any romance. This does not mean that there will be no kind of romance in the casual relationship, there is but on a low key level. People tend to get involved more with intimate relationships; regardless of the complexity, heartache, pains and hurt that comes with it. If you think that you can't handle it; I will advise you settle for the casual relationships and gradually move up your level. This is to avoid being hurt, and make you vulnerable to being scared of moving on from an old relationship; but if you think that you can handle it, then make your choice. Most people want and dream of having a perfect relationship or want theirs to …

Anger Management 2

Previously, the meaning of anger and its causes were discussed in Anger Management (1). The methods of controlling anger will be discussed here. Anger, as we discussed previously too, can lead to Headaches, Heart/chest problems, Digestion issues, Anxiety and Depression et cetera. Through this, one can see the effects of anger; if it can lead to all these, one sure needs to control it. Anger management is a way or methods that one could use to control their outburst. Methods one can control their outburst includes;
A.) Avoid talking immediately when angry-  One can hurt or create a damage when they are annoyed or angry if they act or talk immediately. So it's best to leave the room entirely when angry to avoid talking  or confronting the cause of the problem
B.) Taking a walk or Strolling- When annoyed, one should take a walk or stroll outside to receive fresh air in order to calm their nerves down. Try exercising (eg. yoga) if possible, that would be awesome.
C.) Try to figure ou…

Anger Management 1

Do you ever feel so angry that you can't stop yourself? or you see yourself do things out of rage which on a normal day, you wouldn't have done? Don't worry, you are not alone.  I am here to help you but first one has to know the roots and causes of Anger.  A friend of mine once said, "all problems have a root and they started from somewhere; therefore the solution should also start from the root". According to the Cambridge dictionary; Anger is defined as the feeling people get when something unfair, painful or bad happens to them. It is the feeling of being upset or annoyed that makes you want to hurt people or shout at them. Anger or being angry is not a bad thing, it's just an emotion that was bound to be, just like being happy. It becomes a bad thing only when you allow it to control you, and as we all know, our emotions should not control us. We should control our emotions instead. When we allow it to overwhelm us and control us, it can be diagnosed as …

Don't Worry, You are not alone


Once in a while in our various lives, we experience some challenges, difficult problems or life stressors. We see ourselves get worried and anxious over it. Sometimes, we get to think that we are the only one with the biggest and most difficult problem in the world. The truth is that we are not the only one facing such things or undergoing through tough times. Life is not a bed of roses. One is bound to experience some difficult times in life, the issue is how you handled it; that is why one must be strong at such times. Remember to bear in mind that whatever your problems are, there are people out there with the same problems and challenges, and some are even facing more challenges and problems than yours. Do not allow these challenges to overwhelm you. A few years ago, my legs were hurting a lot. I was so bothered by it, it always made me sad. I wondered why my legs were always hurting while that of my friends are good, why should it be me? out of everybody in the world, why did it…

Don't be Scared Baby, You've not been forgotten- Feminism

Feminism both as a word and as an action has not found favor in the eyes of many. Most people believe it is the reason that most people are living their marriage; they believe that our grand mother's generation did not believe in feminism and that is why their marriage lasted. As I just finished typing this last line, I had mixed feelings. It makes me wonder how dumb people can be. Who told you that your grandma did not get divorced because they didn't believe in feminism?  We all wake up one day and believe whatever we are being fed with. Some years ago in some parts of Africa, feminists were called ogbanje (evil spirit/possessed). Although today they are not treated to that extent again, but still they are not believed to be normal people.  Feminism is just the movement that proclaims the equality of women and men socially, economically, and politically. Most women and females believe in this, but because of the l…