Breaking Stereotypes or Being Different


When writing one of my papers that was all about growing up in a family, and how it affects and makes us who we are.  I wrote on the roles family members took that has been affecting us for a long period of time. I think my two favorite songs now Ain't your mama by Jennifer Lopez (2016) and Sit still, look pretty by Daya (2106) talks about what is going on now. Family is a very good and pretty thing; it feels awesome to have amazing people around you who are always there for you. The thing is, some stereotypes that have been embedded in this family which seems to be declining, is now climbing it's climax again. As a little girl growing up, my mum always wanted me to be good with domestic works more than my brothers. I wondered why she did that all the time. I eventually asked her why and she replied because one day you will be get married, and you have to do it for your husband. Curiously I asked her, won't the boys get married and do it for their wives too, she replied because they are boys and it does not matter that much if they don't learn how to the the domestic works. I had mixed feelings; this doesn't make sense, I taught we were equal and the same. I started observing the differences between males and females. Right now, we might look the same but a lot of social construction made us far apart that even most females do not believe anything can be done about it. I considered being a girl a very stressful life because of the social constructions associated with it. Years later, my cousin who was the same age as I was when I discovered the gap and stereotypes associated with being a girl. I had asked her to watch me cook, that she was going to do it next time, surprisingly she asked me the same question I asked my mum some years ago. Unfortunately, I didn't even know the right thing to answer her, so I gave her the same reply I got from my mum. She questioned my response by asking me who said that only girls should do the cooking or do it more often. I looked at her innocent and curious eyes and answered look girl I don't even know, but if I did; I would like to meet the person because it seems so unfair. we have just been left with no choice. This time around she taught me something with her question when she asked again, who said we don't have any choice. Exactly what I needed at that point, did I give up to the stereotype that nothing can be done just because of a social construction? The truth is that I don't even know. Some days later, I called her and asked her what does she think about being  a girl? She told me the same thing I had taught about being a girl. Smiling and curious, I wanted to know what she taught more about this, was she reminding me of my younger self? I had taught we just had only facial resemblance; now she is also turning into a younger version of me. She replied by saying it is crazy how people just think that the house chores is mainly for girls without any good and meaningful reason. She further said she does not understand why a girl has to be pretty, it does not matter she said. You are amazing as you are. I totally agreed with her. she loved football but there is no female team in her school, just for boys alone. Why is it so? Probably, because girls are just meant to "sit down and look pretty, and win trophy wives"(daya, 2016). This is very boring life, wake up, put on make-up, wear dresses and act like the so called lady-like character. What is wrong with our thought, are we just different or breaking the stereotype. What? Am I trying to breaking the norm? I don't know, but what I know is that you can decide what you want to do with your life. Just like the girl in the picture above, she clearly does not relate to the societal definition of a girl or a woman.  Create your own identity and stop trying to belong and fit into the society rules of being normal. Ever wonder who said that what the majority of people are doing was the normal thing to do? Questions, questions, and questions are all I have. I am tired of these stereotypes and trying to be normal, will breaking free from these solve the problem?

To be continued!

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