Dangers of self condemnation

Feeling remorseful or bad after a bad occurrence is a very normal thing. It shows how humane one is, and  speaks good of you. It exhibits and shows how sorry one is for their deeds, but when done unnecessary always seems to be a sign of destruction. Self-blame is very dangerous thing to the health. It is more than just feeling remorseful for something that already happened. It is more like seeing yourself as a big/huge mess. It's like seeing yourself as a big failure. It is an emotional burden and punishment to oneself. It drowns one immediately before it is being recognized. It is known to be detriment to the health. Self-blame might sound as just a minor issue but anything that affects the health should be taken seriously and not neglected. I happened to be discussing with one of my friends and she told me how bad she thinks of herself. She said this, "I feel like am a failure most times whenever am alone; I feel like am the dumbest person out there". I could have laughed at this point; why? It's not very amusing I agree but it's sounded funny. She is not the dumbest person in my class, talk more of the outside world. She is a smart student who makes good grades in classes. The reason why I didn't laugh was because I realized what she was going through immediately. I knew she was suffering inside, she needed help, love, support, and encouragement.  The tendency of one engaging in thoughts when alone is very high, and we live in a world where we evaluate our success with that of others. We forget that we are all different. I could understand what she was going through and I gave her my full support because I have been somewhere around there before.        

Self-blame can lead to other things such as: Eating disorders, depression and self-pity/shame. Self-blaming could make one lose all their appetite, or eating a large quantity of food and end up vomiting all of them. It can also make one indulge in excess eating, having more than their body can handle at the moment (bingeing).                                                                

It can also make one depressed. When you are constantly telling yourselves negative things all the time, it will start manifesting somehow. You are going to make it so obvious that you are a failure, and will lead to one ruminating constantly about their failures. Too much of these can lead to major depression in one.

It can cause self-shame and self-pity. Feeling guilty always and blaming ourselves can make us to start feel sorry for ourselves, and feel unworthy of living. 

One main factor that contributes to self-blame is the idea of perfectionism. People tend to forget sometimes that we are all humans, and we can not be perfect in anything no matter what we do. We can try our best but that though is not perfect because no one is, but we are all walking towards perfection. We are all amazing the way we are. Everyone is different in their own way, and we can't all have the same measure of achievements. Just like we wear different shoe sizes, that is how our various lives are. When you put on the wrong size and you expect it to be your size, you will get so much disappointed when you find out that it does not match your feet.

Say No to self-blame, you don't necessary need to be a victim of it. Stop feeling guilty, sorry towards yourself because you don't measure up to your friends, your age group, or the societal demands. Accept who you are and be happy with yourself. Do not let people's demands and lifestyles, or life challenges drown into the sea of self-blaming yourself.


Popular Posts

Growing up as a girl- Nigeria

Response Argument to "Lean In: What Would You Do If You Weren’t Afraid?” by Sheryl Sandberg

My Worst Nightmare