Her dressing, not your one of your problems

Image result for victim-blaming for rape

We all know the saying, "Dress the way you want to be addressed" which we interpret simply as your dressing speaks a lot about you and your personality. 

What if I told you that it is not totally true although many people have taken to be such? This is why we often hear statements like: “You dressed like you wanted sex, so how was I to know that you didn’t?", “She was dressed like a slut though”, I called the cops because he was dressed like a gangster and so on.  

 People’s personality and character or what they stand for should not be defined by what they have on or how they are dressed.

Take for instance, in a scenario where a girl has been raped and is trying to get justice for being raped, the first question they ask this rape victim who might be traumatized over what happened is going to be, “How were you dressed?”   If she happens to be dressed in a sexy way on the day the incident happened, she is automatically going to be blamed for being raped. The pervert who raped a lady on her own dressed to have fun in her own is somehow in a very strange way justified. You know it’s not his fault for being a pervert. It is not his fault for being an animal in a human’s clothing. It is never going to be his fault for not controlling the dangling rod between his legs. It is all going to be the fault of the sexy dressed lady who lured him into temptation. He is excused and we all think it’s okay. Lesson learned. Dress the way you want to be addressed.

Nonsense!!! Complete Rubbish!!!

Oh yes, I am angry, very angry and I feel like yelling. This is just an imagined scenario, but it actually happens which makes it so scary. It is so scary because I have little female cousins and niece growing up in this kind of world. I want them to grow up in a world where they are free to dress up comfortably and not be afraid of a moron walking around disguised as a human looking for who to devour knowing he would go scot-free when he brings up their dress-sense as a reason. I am angry because I am a girl and I cannot imagine my fellow girl going through this situation and yet be victim-blamed because of her dressing.

It makes me wonder, if dressing in a particular way enhances rape or is an excuse for being raped, how about the little, helpless eight months old baby who just came into the world and was raped? I just wonder how sexy she must have dressed, my curiosity can’t help but to wonder. What justification can the rapist get? Was her diapers too tight on her and brought out all her curves? Was the little three year olds raising their dresses up an invitation to sex too? How about the sixty-year olds who got raped? How are they going to be victim-blamed too? Oh yes, my bad I think that I know how.  Her breasts were saggy and were also an invitation to sex (sarcasm).

To the males, dressing sexy is not and never an invitation to sex and has never been. Some of y’all need to get back to your senses.

Can we stop victim-blaming rape-victims? We can as well stop linking one’s dressing to rape because her dressing is never your business, man. Let’s create a place, a world where everyone is comfortable. Let’s create a world where you don’t have to be judged by your dressing.

I think the poular saying, “Dress the way that you want to be addressed” should be amended to “Dress the way that you are comfortable with”


Popular Posts

Growing up as a girl- Nigeria

Response Argument to "Lean In: What Would You Do If You Weren’t Afraid?” by Sheryl Sandberg

My Worst Nightmare