Yearn for Hope


Walking slowly, ear buds stuck in her ear listening to music with volume turned to the highest. Isolated from the world, noise, happy chatters and laughter’s of people around her. It seemed liked the birds needed her attention today too because they all sang in unison but she paid no attention to any of it. It is her mind, her music and her against the world now. No, actually it is her music and her against her mind. Yes, she is been in a battle with a part of her. Crazy right? But that’s just what you think, and now she will begin to see herself as one in the near future.
***

Now, she is sitting down, still listening to music with the volume so high that it made her brain begin to hurt, and yet still wishing that the volume of the music suppresses those living creatures, those monsters in her mind. She is beginning to smile maybe because she was told to smile and be happy, or maybe because it did seem like she was defeating those monsters again. She was going to triumph those shrieking creatures in her mind again. She knew she was going to win at least temporarily.

Sadly, her joyous triumph did not last long because before she realized what had happened, they were back again now stronger than they had ever been. Fear gripped her, she knew her strength and this- th-this was too much than she could handle. She will soon finally lose custody of a part of her, she will soon lose her mind. That was never meant to happen. She knew she needed help before it was too late but she wouldn’t ask for help. All she needed was just few persons around her to catch her as she falls so that she doesn’t crash because that will be total damage. She would hide away from the rest because she doesn’t want to be seen as crazy by people after listening to her ordeal. “Talk to me” they say, yet every time she wondered how she would tell them that she was fighting her mind. She wondered how she will make them understand that she is in a battle with some unseen monsters in her mind and she was going to lose to those monsters. Would they even understand or would they avoid her because she is a crazy girl who is talking about some creatures in her mind. All she had ever wished for was a savior but right now she doesn’t think she needs a savior anymore. She will have to fight her fight herself.

She will fight those monsters and she will win, that she knows but how she will do it still remains a mystery. She has decided to keep fighting, not fighting to keep them away temporarily but fight to keep them away from her forever. She knew she has to regain her mind, she will have her mind with peace and not a chaos. She knew that one day she will have to break those barriers she has created around her from the world. One day she will no more isolate herself from the world. One day her happiness will not be determined by some mindless creatures fighting for what is not theirs but will be determined by her. This is what she believes in for the future, but for that to happen she will have to hold on to the tiny rope of hope dangling down. She will hang on to that little shreds of hope she have got to keep fighting. Even the winds are in support of her decision because they began to whistle as the flies hummed with their wings. There and then, she knew she had to win no matter what it takes and the rest will be story.

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