I believe that there is a reason for everything. So, instead of the chemistry law that states, “For every action, there is a reaction” I believe that for every action, there’s a reason. So in this way I usually try my best to understand people even when their actions doesn’t really make sense and most are so inhuman but not in all cases though. Some actions just don’t require understanding because no amount of reason will justify it.  I am not doing this to be perfect or get the “good girl” title because I don’t really care for those. I have always been misunderstood most of my life or so I think. Therefore, I don’t think that those titles will mean anything to me. I just do this because I somehow expect it to be done for me. It’s like the golden rule for me, “do unto others as you will like them to do unto you”. I try to reason with people just so in the nearby future I am expecting someone to understand that there is a reason for my actions.

The world is filled with different kinds of people, the nice ones, and the shitty ones and looks like we have more of the later which makes people skeptical about understanding people. It is a tough place too so we formed a way of survival, to judge people. We are so quick to judge people without even proper knowledge of what happened. The most fascinating and funny thing is that we are so fast to judge people without reasoning but when it is our turn to be judged by people like we did to others, we get furious and angry that it is not fair. We tend to forget whatever we put out there comes back to us somehow. We are so quick to tell people what to do, so quick to give people unsolicited advice, so quick to blame people without really reasoning.

Sometimes, we feel like we know it all forgetting that we really don’t know it all because no one actually does. We blame people for their decisions without even walking the circumstances to see how much you will do. The rate of suicide is becoming alarming. It’s not weird at all. Some of these folks wanted to speak up or they actually did speak up but because what we as humans know most is to judge, we judge them. We blame them for being depressed. We point accusing fingers at them. We tell them “get over yourself” and when something happens to them, we become the first ones to post on social media “mental health is real”. Each time, I wonder who we are deceiving. To the very few who really try to understand, to the real ones who really understand and encourage instead of blaming people, may the heavens be with you all. May the universe bless your souls, you are the real MVP.

My mom will always say, “onye gba akpu ukwu ma ebe o na-afu” which literally means only a person who wears shoe knows where it hurts more. This proverb means that none can fully understand a person’s suffering or pains. I am not asking you to fully understand because even if explained in a million words you will not fully understand. I am asking you to be a little bit human with emotions. Try to understand more and imagine yourself in such situations before claiming all mighty and judging. Encourage people when they come to you, and not blame them for their problems. You never know but you might be making it worse for them when you start blaming them for something that is not even their fault. Let’s stop with these animalistic behaviors and be more human because we are actually humans and not some wild animal with no empathy.


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